For generations, the workplace was more than just a place to earn a living. It was where men forged some of their closest and most enduring friendships. Lunch breaks, project deadlines, and shared struggles created a rhythm of connection that often outlasted the jobs themselves.
Today, that landscape looks very different. As work has shifted, so too has one of the last dependable spaces where men found their friends.
The workplace as a friendship incubator
Research shows that more than 50% of adults have formed a close friendship at work. In many cases, the workplace was second only to school as the most common environment for connection.
For men in particular, it offered structure, routine, and an accepted context for friendship without the pressure of explicit vulnerability. You did not have to ask to connect. You showed up, side by side, day after day — and friendship grew.
However, modern work trends — including longer hours, higher turnover, and remote and hybrid setups — are quietly eroding those opportunities. The rituals of workplace friendship are fading.
The quiet cost of erosion
This shift is not neutral. Surveys indicate that employees who lack strong workplace connections are more likely to experience feelings of loneliness, disengagement, and reduced overall well-being.
In South Africa, the stakes are sharper. With high urban migration and traditional communal bonds weaker in metropolitan areas, the workplace often doubled as a surrogate community. When that link is severed, men are left to carry both professional and personal pressures with fewer allies to support them. The result is not only loneliness but also measurable impacts on productivity, creativity, and mental health.
The absence of these bonds shows up in small but telling ways. Meetings become efficient but transactional. Collaboration is handled through email threads and project management tools rather than informal conversations.
Men, already less likely to seek vulnerability in friendships, find themselves with even fewer excuses to connect. What once happened organically now requires conscious effort—and too often, that effort is lacking.
Organizational fallout
The cost to organizations is real. Deloitte estimates that up to 30% of cycle time in teams is lost to friction and rework when trust and collaboration are low. Harvard research has linked weak social ties at work to higher turnover and lower employee engagement.
When male employees experience this erosion, they may remain physically present but emotionally disconnected. Over time, silence in the workplace becomes more than a cultural issue — it becomes a strategic liability.
Rebuilding bonds with intention
Reversing this decline is not about forcing friendships but about making space for them. Simple rituals — team coffees, side-by-side projects that prioritise collaboration, small opportunities for informal contact — reintroduce connection.
For men, this matters especially. Side-by-side activities often build trust more easily than face-to-face conversations. Leaders who understand this dynamic create workplaces that are not only more resilient but also more humane.
South Africa has a unique opportunity. In a society still grappling with high stress levels, economic pressure, and uneven social safety nets, the workplace can be more than a site of output. It can be a rare environment where men feel less alone.
The truth is that most men will not openly admit to missing friends at work. What they will say is that the job feels heavier, the days longer, and the joy gone missing. Beneath those words lies the same reality: connection matters.
When the bonds vanish, the load becomes harder to carry.
When they return, the weight is shared — and both the work and the men are stronger for it.